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"You will fall in love with someone who’s cold and always seemingly pushing you away. When all is said and done, they will be forever known as the one person you couldn’t get to love you. Unfortunately, it will hurt and sting worse than the good ones, the ones that chopped up your meat for you and picked out an eyelash from your eye and were nice to your mother, because love often feels like a game we need to win. And when we lose, when we realize we couldn’t get what we ultimately desired from a person, it makes us feel like a failure and erases all the memories of those who loved us in the past. It’s a permanent smudge on your love resume."

Source: thoughtcatalog.com
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One lone lobster beat a claw against the glass wall of a small tank. The lobster’s narrow, empty world was perched over a frozen sea; blue Styrofoam tray after tray of Dungeness crab, leggy purple squid, and bundled smelt rested on chipped ice below. Tick, tick. The lobster knocked, as though to flag down help. Across the aisle what had once been a herd of grass-fed cattle now lay silent in bloody pools of iced New York strip steak, flank steak, ribs, tongues, and burger. Edible flowers bloomed on a small green stand, a miniature field ready for harvest. Tap, tap, tap. Tap tap. A lobster SOS. Get me out of this dead heaven. I knew the feeling. 

[Excerpt from Monica Drake’s “Clown Girl”]

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Nostalgia: High School English Composition Edition 

My excitement for the upcoming movie was only paralleled by my lack of recollection of the book itself. Needless to say, I decided to remedy that notion tout de suit

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Tree on Riverside. 

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dry erase board. dry erase me. 

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how i sometimes feel. 

dearscience:

House On Fire (by Todd Klassy)

Source: Flickr / latitudes
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What
Do sad people have in
Common?
It seems
They have all built a shrine
To the past
And often go there
And do a strange wail and
Worship.
What is the beginning of
Happiness?
It is to stop being
So religious
Like That.

- Hafiz -

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What I yearn for is to feel needed again.

Nothing else will sustain me.

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When I heard the learn’d astronomer;

When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me;

When I was shown the charts and the diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them;

When I, sitting, heard the astronomer, where he lectured with much applause in the lecture-room;

How soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick;

Till rising and gliding out, I wander’d off by myself,

In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,

Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.

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The Positives:

I finally got accepted into medical school. This is a dream that has taken what feels like forever to come true. I started in July, and completed my first semester in mid-december. 

The Negatives:

I had my heart completely ripped out of my chest roughly two weeks after being accepted into said medical school. A three year relationship, dismantled right before my eyes, just when things were starting to look up in my life. All of my plans, my outlook for the future, were suddenly reset to zero. 

With this in mind, I’ve gone back and forth on trying to decide how I feel about 2011 all together. To be blessed with such a monumental accomplishment, only to be left feeling completely empty days later. How do you describe it? Where do you go from there? There are no words. I can’t put this past year in a box. 

So here’s my resolution for the new year:

"Keep your head up, keep your heart strong.

May you find happiness here. 

May all your hopes all turn out right.”


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twitching in the sheets -
to face the sunlight again,
that’s clearly
trouble.
I like the city better when the
neon lights are going and
the nudies dance on top of the
bar
to the mauling music.

I’m under this sheet
thinking.
my nerves are hampered by
history -
the most memorable concern of mankind
is the guts it takes to
face the sunlight again.

love begins at the meeting of two
strangers. love for the world is
impossible. I’d rather stay in bed
and sleep.

dizzied by the days and the streets and the years
I pull the sheets to my neck.
I turn my ass to the wall.
I hate the mornings more than
any man.

- Charles Bukowski -

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"because there is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times its sent away."

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get out of my dreams, or get back into my life…